“Normal People” is a Reflection on Genuine, Boring People…and That’s Why it’s Important

I finally finished reading “Normal People” by Sally Rooney a few days ago after it’s been sitting on my “To Be Read” list since Christmastime! If you’ve read my most recent blog post, you’ll know that I’ve been going through a rather turbulent period of time in my life, and I wasn’t entirely sure if this book was going to help or hurt that, so I was wary to read it. Ultimately, I enjoy a good cry, so I figured that I would take my chances and I’m glad I did.

Fair warning, this blog post will contain a significant amount of spoilers. And it’s long…like, really long, but I didn’t spend three years on an English degree to give short, sweet little book reviews, so buckle up and enjoy the ride.

After finishing the book, I immediately went online to see what other people were saying about it, only to find that the general public is pretty evenly split about whether or not they love or hate this book. For a bit of background, the novel follows two high school students, Marianne and Connell, into their college and post-grad life — alternating perspectives as they go. Marianne is wealthy, but remains friend-less throughout her high school career, even after she finds herself in a complicated, and “mostly sex-based, but feelings are definitely involved” relationship with Connell. Connell is popular and well-liked, but belongs to a working-class family. In fact, his mother works for Marianne’s family as their housekeeper. Despite their relationship coming to a tumultuous and rather abrupt end in high school after Connell chooses to protect his social status over Mariannes feelings (despite telling her that he was in love with her), Marianne and Connell both find themselves going to the same college in Dublin. Here, they reconnect as friends.

Throughout the course of their lives - and the story - Connell and Marianne’s relationship takes on a multitude of different shapes, which is mainly due to a major lack of communication between the two of them regarding what they are looking for from one another and not being able to commit to a serious relationship. Both characters remain crippled with jealousy whenever the other finds a new partner, but they never express that they want more from one another than just close friendship and casual sex. Over and over again, they turn to one another and say, “But it isn’t like this with anyone else,” before continuing to try and find that connection with someone else…make sense? No? Okay, just making sure. It’s obvious to me — and the many others who have read and overanalyzed this book — that Connell and Marianne are not in a healthy relationship. No, they never intentionally try to cause hurt to the other, but by not communicating their expectations or even their want’s for their relationship, they end up hurting each other on multiple occasions. It almost felt like a game that they were playing where they both ended up losing every. single. time. Despite this obvious connection between them, it feels like they continuously are finding themselves in a “right person, wrong time” situation, that I would argue could have been avoided multiple times.

Many of the negative reviews of the book circled around the fact that the ending leaves readers wondering whatever becomes of Connell and Marianne’s relationship. Despite the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed this book, I have to agree that I had hoped for a little more closure from the ending (which I would consider to be a “non-ending”).  At the novels close, Connell is offered the opportunity to leave Ireland and move to New York, and despite the fact that he tells Marianne he is going to miss her, and tries to talk himself out of taking the opportunity for this reason, Marianne directly tells him to go, and that she will wait for him. To me, this seems to parallel not one but two earlier chapters in the book. The first being back when Marianne and Connell were in high school and Marianne asks Connell how he would feel if they stopped seeing each other. Connell finds himself rather upset at the idea of him and Marianne going separate ways because of the feelings that he has for her and tells her that, but then continues to drive a wedge between them anyway when he takes another girl to Debs.

Then later, early in their college career, when Connell can’t afford to spend the summer in Dublin, he contemplates asking Marianne if he can stay with her for the summer. He knows that if he leaves, their relationship is going to change, but instead of asking her, he moves back to their hometown for the summer, leaving her…again. Do you see where I’m going with this? Here is where a huge underlying current of the economic class between them starts to seep into play, but I ultimately didn’t see that getting in the way of their relationship directly too much, so we aren’t going to get into that in this post. 

Continuing on, another thoroughly-argued point is that neither character develops at all over the course of the novel. Despite the characters growing up and changing, many of the issues that these two characters had with themselves in high school, continue to stick with them years and years after they graduate. They don’t undergo any major personality changes, which is something that I think is a common occurrence in modern romance books. It’s expected in these books that once a boy meets a girl, the boy will change to make their relationship work, or vice versa. In reality, that’s not always how things work — in fact, I would argue that a healthy relationship doesn’t require one of the involved parties to need to change their entire personality. Marianne in particular, struggles with feeling value in herself, so she lets men put her down and borderline abuse her, as a way to feel needed. Connell is one of the only men in her life that doesn’t want to abuse her and actually rejects her requests to be aggressive with her in their relationship. This is a major red flag in her relationship that persists throughout the entire novel.

Connell has plenty of his own red flags, like the fact that he’s constantly unsure of what he wants — and when he does figure it out, he doesn’t know how to communicate it. Connell does seek therapy for his major depression, which helps him create an outlet for someone to talk to outside of Marianne. Thank you, Connell! However, throughout the book Connell walks away from Marianne and the potential of a serious relationship with her many times, then comes back wondering why she’s seeking validation and love from others.

In the days that followed me finishing this book, I found it circling my mind constantly. I wanted to pick a team, decide “who’s side” I was on, but when it comes down to it, I don’t think it’s necessary to side with one or the other. Both of these characters have dozens of flaws, and most of those flaws are relatable and real for  people in their twenties who are trying to navigate love, amongst all other things. So many people who reviewed this book online hated the characters, but I honestly didn't. I signed up for a book about normal people, which is exactly what I got. Marianne and Connell are simply just, normal. They aren’t over-glamorized, perfect, or poetic people. They are just two young people trying to figure out how to make a relationship work, and whether or not they even want that kind of relationship. It’s not perfect, at all, and it’s frustrating to see the characters suffer from the miscommunication and confusion, because it is so authentic to the experiences that many people face during this same time in their lives.

As far as the argument that the book “had no plot,” all I can really say to that is that just because it doesn’t follow the typical bell curve of a story plot line that you learn in grade school, doesn’t mean there isn’t a plot to the book. To me, this book almost seemed like a fictional memoir of two people, explaining the same story from opposite sides. I thought it was interesting and captivating even though there wasn’t a lot of “action.”

And lastly, as far as the TV adaptation is concerned, I thought it was incredibly well done. I enjoyed the acting, especially Daisy Edgar-Jones as Marianne, and I think that the overall gloom of the cinematography was a reflection of the confusion and fog the couple finds themselves in. I enjoyed watching it after I had already read the book, because I found that the characters and the settings fit very well with how I already imagine them in my head.

I don’t think that this is a particularly happy book or show. There is happiness in it, but there is also sadness and heartbreak, which is why I think this book is such an important read for people in their twenties. I think this book puts a realistic spin on relationships that other modern “romance” novels aren’t really doing. Ultimately, with all this being said, I would not be mad if a little while down the line, Rooney releases a sequel book revealing what the true ending of Marianne and Connell’s relationship was. I would like to know whether or not they get back together again because the uncertainty is unbearable!